LAST NIGHT ...

I had a dream! Hahaha. All MLK status right? Okay but seriously I did have a strange dream. But come to think about it and it really makes sense WHY I had a dream about him. I was, afterall, discussing what had happened between us two like all of last night. Honestly, I take five steps forward and a million back. No bueno. I do want to move on ... like that's really what I yearn for ... but something is seriously holding me back. What frustrates me the most is the fact that I do't understand why. Why must I be so reminiscent? Why am I convinced that we will have a future (a far one at that) together? Why am I being a psychotic bitch? You know how it is! I'm just jotting down a few questions to ponder. Psshh ... yeah right.

Anyways about that dream. We basically crossed paths all randomly and something about his father being a total spazz and getting lost but he was gracious enough to give me and some other gals a ride but then we used his car? Goodness gracious, it was a strange dream. Point blatant... we ended up hooking up and all I remember was feeling really good to be in his arms and the strange thing was I sensed the same sensation from him. Then it got really odd and I tried to RAPE him, hahaha. Okay it wasn't that vulgar but it would have definitely been unacceptable in a public setting. Then it gets amazing and I seduce that nigga! He was resisting (granted he was, and is in actuality, in a relationship) yet he succumbed to my will. Thank God for that. I guess that entire dream just signifies how lonely I really am inside.

Then I remember all the tears I shed and it manages to cancel out any good thoughts I have remaining of him.

Why do I keep doing this! Goodness gracious. kebkfjbdsjfbjsdnfkdjsbfhkdshjsfd. That's how I feel. Oh well.

On a lighter note... this quarter is doing better than last. I can take pride in that. Not that I've really been busting my hiney a lot more but I think I'm better adapted to the "college life" thus resulting in the progress in this quarter. I say all this and first round of midterms haven't even come by yet. That's okay -- I'm going to do great. Duh.

Well, that will be the gist of it for the meanwhile. I need to attempt productivity right now. Toodles.