I truly wonder ...

if I'll ever recover from that state of mind?
if I could ever fully get past ... the past?
if I will come across someone to help me attain all this?



At this very moment the answer seems to be no.
Oh well, life moves on!

VALENTINE'S DAY AND I MIX LIKE OIL AND WATER!

Regardless the fact that I've actually enjoyed my past three years of attempts to celebrate against the declared holiday ... I can never help but feel that ultimately Valentine's Day's effects are disastrous. This year I got sushi (haha) and a sunflower. That would be a semi-step up from last years tulips and a boyfriend. I guess?

My point? I'm stuck in a pickle once again. But that's nothing new because I always manage to get myself caught up in situations such as the one I'm currently engaged in. Truth be told, I enjoy the thrill. I just worry that I might end up hurting others in the process and that's something I would never do with intention.

Okay so moving on... I am thoroughly enjoying school right now. Besides the Chicano Studies midterm which I could have received a perfect score on but instead fluked on ... everything else is going great. Finals are going to be here in no time and I'm ready to kick it's ass. I have a pretty firm grip on who I can count on around school and who my true friends are back home. I am still quite the procrastinator but I'm improving upon the treacherous habit gradually.

Even when the weather is as depressing as it is right now (overcast and pouring) I still remain a happy soul. I thank the Lord for blessing me with this feeling.

NOTE TO SELF: No matter what, always stay true to yourself and everything you stand for.
I know it might make me come off ignorant to acknowledge others' perspectives but I'm so easily swayed so before I consider anyone else ... I'm choosing to acknowledge myself.

And I'll leave it at that!

WELL, WELL, WELL ...

I just realized that I totally have a crush. I love crush phases, they keep you on the edge of your seat. You know enough that the person can make you feel a certain pleasant way but you're not in too deep that you're neurotic. I must say ... this would have to be my favorite stage! This and the honeymoon stage are both pretty sweet.

On a lighter note, I just had the BEST weekend of my life. There really is no other way of putting it. Jennessa and Sheva are g-darn blessings and I am so glad I brought them home with me.

OKAY OKAY .. I'm ending it here. I lost my definite urge to spill my emotions out.

TALK ABOUT TRANSITIONS!

So tell me why I had the most interesting experience yesterday. Not only do I bump into Sharon and Julian, I also had the pleasure of bumping into two attractive fellows. Oh life sure is sweet sometimes. I would say that for every ugly feeling I had bottled within about them, I did pretty good yesterday. It only helps that I know I still got my groove. Dang girl! Haha. But on a real note, that was a memory for the books! Did I add that it was Superbowl and the damn Steelers won? No effin bueno. But I got to be with my favorite chicas en el todo mundo--- Lextacy and Iliana!

Today I officially established my friendship with our janitor in the hall. It made me feel like I was back in high school. I just love being interactive with those around me. That's when it really begins to feel like home! I love life, even when it has it's downs ... nope, I still love it!