Okay, this has to be short because I'm actually in the middle of cramming for finals but I decided to grant myself with yet another UNDESERVED break. Let's put it this way, I've been strictly adhering to the rule of business OVER pleasure, except I flipped the script, thus PLEASURE PLEASURE PLEASURE over business. That has some serious consequences attached to it, let me tell you. Oh well. This morning was ridiculous. When I woke up from the bright ass rays of the sunshine and the fact that I was unconsciously playing tug of war for the comforter throughout the night ... I decided that I won the game. I'm announcing this to the world too! Put it this way, last Friday I was on the brink of losing so I decided to step it up and take charge. Here's the sad news, now that I've "won the game" ... I no longer want to play it anymore. Basically, I'm bored. Hahaha. I contemplated over this matter throughout this entire day and that's really what I've concluded. OH WELL ... "thaaaaat's not maaaa baaaaad!" HAHAHAHA.
I've been hanging around Jazmin a lot lately. I'm not going to lie, it brings out another side to me. My inner child to be specific. I guess it's because she's my ONLY childhood friend who I've really kept a [somewhat] steady relation with and who knows me past the bullshit levels. Ahhhhhh, she's so cute. That's my "bestieeeeeee" without all the karma that comes with that title of course. Haaaaaa.
Back to studying. I'll try to wrap this up another time. Until then, stay classy, you hoes! :]
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
I was doing my makeup and I realized ... I need to sit down and just unwind. Here goes the matters on my mind that I've kept pent up; that is to say it's both good and bad.
+ I have never felt so CLOSE to my moms. Everything post the Julian era has been so surreal. We've really developed this intense bond that leaves plenty of room for mistakes and growth and over the span of a year, I can't even begin to tell you how long the both of us have come. I say that with pride because there was a point where I was convinced that our relationship was unrepairable. Little did I know that was only the beginning. Let me just add that we had an off the charts amazing Mother's Day at my domesticated big sister's condo. God I love my family!
+/- He has got me in a trance and constantly evaluating my every move. It's like ... I get a distinct vibe from him that keeps me coming back for more. Well, it's pretty well ingrained in my mind that ultimately, this could all lead to MAJOR trouble but that does not seem to stop me from going at it. This is what I mean when I say I am attracted to anything that is risky and challenging, metaphorically that is. I'm not trying to get over my head with this situation and I definitely don't want to OVER ANALYZE or misinterpret the signals so I'm just gonna stop. What happens, happens. Right?
+ I did a lot better on midterms this quarter. Now I just need to keep it up with finals and I'm free for the home stretch. Is that how the saying goes?
+ Over the course of this quarter, I've done a lot better with not only keeping in touch with people, but truly maintaining genuine relations with them. Slowly but surely, I'm finding that balance.
- Why am I still such a slacker? Carmela, oh Carmela. Procrastinating truly seems to be my middle name.
- Wish me luck because I really need to find a stable, well paying job.
+ My roomie and I have formed this indescribable bond. Sophia is a lot of the reason why I've matured in many ways. She truly is a blessing from the Hawaiian gods. Haha.
.... I suppose that's it for now? I have a research paper that I am seriously stalling to complete. I also have a hefty load of pages to read. So it's decided ... I should get on that.
+ I have never felt so CLOSE to my moms. Everything post the Julian era has been so surreal. We've really developed this intense bond that leaves plenty of room for mistakes and growth and over the span of a year, I can't even begin to tell you how long the both of us have come. I say that with pride because there was a point where I was convinced that our relationship was unrepairable. Little did I know that was only the beginning. Let me just add that we had an off the charts amazing Mother's Day at my domesticated big sister's condo. God I love my family!
+/- He has got me in a trance and constantly evaluating my every move. It's like ... I get a distinct vibe from him that keeps me coming back for more. Well, it's pretty well ingrained in my mind that ultimately, this could all lead to MAJOR trouble but that does not seem to stop me from going at it. This is what I mean when I say I am attracted to anything that is risky and challenging, metaphorically that is. I'm not trying to get over my head with this situation and I definitely don't want to OVER ANALYZE or misinterpret the signals so I'm just gonna stop. What happens, happens. Right?
+ I did a lot better on midterms this quarter. Now I just need to keep it up with finals and I'm free for the home stretch. Is that how the saying goes?
+ Over the course of this quarter, I've done a lot better with not only keeping in touch with people, but truly maintaining genuine relations with them. Slowly but surely, I'm finding that balance.
- Why am I still such a slacker? Carmela, oh Carmela. Procrastinating truly seems to be my middle name.
- Wish me luck because I really need to find a stable, well paying job.
+ My roomie and I have formed this indescribable bond. Sophia is a lot of the reason why I've matured in many ways. She truly is a blessing from the Hawaiian gods. Haha.
.... I suppose that's it for now? I have a research paper that I am seriously stalling to complete. I also have a hefty load of pages to read. So it's decided ... I should get on that.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Why can't I focus? Jesus, Joseph, and Mary. I have so much on my mind; however, they're not troubles that you jot down and suddenly feel better about. They're more like the sort that you have to deal with the funk for the load to be lifted. I guess I have to man up. Anyways ...
Last night, right after my Anthro41A class, I was sitting at my desk contemplating about whether or not I've been doing "the right thing" these last three weeks. Right when I was getting ready to throw in the towel and call quits ... my phone vibrates. It took one measly text message to completely cancel out my 30mins of contemplation. Man, I'm weak.
Well, as my first year of college is rapidly approaching its end, I can say that I've learned a lot about other people and more so, about myself. For instance, who would have ever imagined that the only type of music I would find myself listening to during midterms and finals week is big band / swing? You know what though, Mina is totally right. Most of my learning doesn't even take place inside the classroom ... it totally takes place outside. Oh, and NAPS are vital for survival in the college setting. That totally contradicts the notion that college kids are sleep deprived but I've really never slept so much as I did this year. There's so much more to add to the list BUT I need to really crack down on my study guides for Anthro and Soc.
One last thing. Why am I still hell bent over Saturday night? NO MAMES.
Last night, right after my Anthro41A class, I was sitting at my desk contemplating about whether or not I've been doing "the right thing" these last three weeks. Right when I was getting ready to throw in the towel and call quits ... my phone vibrates. It took one measly text message to completely cancel out my 30mins of contemplation. Man, I'm weak.
Well, as my first year of college is rapidly approaching its end, I can say that I've learned a lot about other people and more so, about myself. For instance, who would have ever imagined that the only type of music I would find myself listening to during midterms and finals week is big band / swing? You know what though, Mina is totally right. Most of my learning doesn't even take place inside the classroom ... it totally takes place outside. Oh, and NAPS are vital for survival in the college setting. That totally contradicts the notion that college kids are sleep deprived but I've really never slept so much as I did this year. There's so much more to add to the list BUT I need to really crack down on my study guides for Anthro and Soc.
One last thing. Why am I still hell bent over Saturday night? NO MAMES.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
COMMITMENT.
Man, I have built my profile to be known as an individual who loathes permanently settling down with anyone. Now here I am admitting to be deeply engaged in a weekend relationship with ... BEER. Hahaha. Pinchi borracha status. But seriously ... I just felt the need to blog because I have so much pent up in my chest and I need to release, like a horny 14yr old boy going through puberty. Haha.
Okay so I had one of my most heartfelt conversations of the month with someone who's growing quite near and dear to me. No names for future reference. Haha. Basically, we were (well I was at least) trying to get some decent shut eye after a well deserved night of drinking and then I brought up the topic of how you got to where you are. What were some of your primary influences? Was there anyone who inspired you? The works. This NIGGA rants on for a good 15-20 mins (time away from my sleep I might add) about it. Luckily, I really didn't mind since he had an intriguing response. He got to talking about not growing up with a role model and wanting to be that role model for the youngins. That reminds me of the whole concept of either taking an experience and learning from it by choosing another path when you hit the fork road OR unconsciously repeating your mistakes. He chose the other road and I respect that on so many levels. ANYWAYS, it's such a trip how much common ground I can always seek in individuals regardless how different our walks of life are. That always seems to be my number one strategy, seeking commonalities because you don't resent someone you can relate to. The key is being able to identify the similarities. It can get tricky I tell you.
So ... this past weekend truly was interesting. I've learned that I've progressed tremendously with the ability of not jumping to conclusions so willingly. After all, isn't that what leads to all the anxiety attacks in people's lives ... all that over analyzing? Nigga please. I think I've developed a keen sense on what to deem worthy of my worry.
Yesterday, I went to church downtown opposed to the routine St. Charles. Man, that priest managed to do something that has never been done before: he was able to get me to listen to the entire HOMILY without drifting off what so ever. That is how you know it was a great sermon and the way he delivered it was enjoyable as well ... some light humor enough to catch the crowd's attention and a good anecdote that directly related to the readings. Oh, and can I just say that the music was amazing. It wasn't too much that you were like "alright girl, just because you made it to first cuts in American Idol, doesn't mean you're a star" but it was more like "aww snaaap, she just gave me goosebumps" so yeah. I'm really going to try and attend mass at St. Joseph's more frequently.
I have my midterm tomorrow. I wish I could say that I did my best to study for it like a maniac but then ... I'd be lying. I'm sure I'll be okay though. I'm shooting for an A, that way if I don't reach that mark at least I should get a B. Wisssshhfuuuuul thinking! Haha.
Umm there was so much more I wanted to talk about. OH, OH, OH! Note to self: tone it down. Haha. I should be able to read that in the future and be like, "ooooh girl." Haha.
Okay so I had one of my most heartfelt conversations of the month with someone who's growing quite near and dear to me. No names for future reference. Haha. Basically, we were (well I was at least) trying to get some decent shut eye after a well deserved night of drinking and then I brought up the topic of how you got to where you are. What were some of your primary influences? Was there anyone who inspired you? The works. This NIGGA rants on for a good 15-20 mins (time away from my sleep I might add) about it. Luckily, I really didn't mind since he had an intriguing response. He got to talking about not growing up with a role model and wanting to be that role model for the youngins. That reminds me of the whole concept of either taking an experience and learning from it by choosing another path when you hit the fork road OR unconsciously repeating your mistakes. He chose the other road and I respect that on so many levels. ANYWAYS, it's such a trip how much common ground I can always seek in individuals regardless how different our walks of life are. That always seems to be my number one strategy, seeking commonalities because you don't resent someone you can relate to. The key is being able to identify the similarities. It can get tricky I tell you.
So ... this past weekend truly was interesting. I've learned that I've progressed tremendously with the ability of not jumping to conclusions so willingly. After all, isn't that what leads to all the anxiety attacks in people's lives ... all that over analyzing? Nigga please. I think I've developed a keen sense on what to deem worthy of my worry.
Yesterday, I went to church downtown opposed to the routine St. Charles. Man, that priest managed to do something that has never been done before: he was able to get me to listen to the entire HOMILY without drifting off what so ever. That is how you know it was a great sermon and the way he delivered it was enjoyable as well ... some light humor enough to catch the crowd's attention and a good anecdote that directly related to the readings. Oh, and can I just say that the music was amazing. It wasn't too much that you were like "alright girl, just because you made it to first cuts in American Idol, doesn't mean you're a star" but it was more like "aww snaaap, she just gave me goosebumps" so yeah. I'm really going to try and attend mass at St. Joseph's more frequently.
I have my midterm tomorrow. I wish I could say that I did my best to study for it like a maniac but then ... I'd be lying. I'm sure I'll be okay though. I'm shooting for an A, that way if I don't reach that mark at least I should get a B. Wisssshhfuuuuul thinking! Haha.
Umm there was so much more I wanted to talk about. OH, OH, OH! Note to self: tone it down. Haha. I should be able to read that in the future and be like, "ooooh girl." Haha.
Monday, April 13, 2009
In and out.
I got myself in this mess, so I'll find a way to get myself out of it. GOD, I'm just so frustrated.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Worst memory, ever!
There were a million times throughout this past week that something happened and I thought to myself, "damn, I need to blog about that." Why is that when I finally get of here, I forget everything? Haaaa ... WORST MEMORY EVER.
Spring quarter has begun. It's amazing how things work out for me sometimes. I truly wonder why I'm lucky enough to just have things fall on my lap without any effort. Maybe I am putting in effort but in attempts of being modest I decide not give myself credit for it. Anyways, I ended up having ALL my classes with at least one familiar face without even planning it to be that way. Truth be told though, I really prefer taking classes by myself and not planned with others because THAT'S HOW YOU MEET NEW PEOPLE. My oh my ... how I sure love meeting new faces.
So I am truly contemplating on whether or not I can handle a double major. OH SNAAAP .. one of my topics that I wanted to rant about just came back to me ... GANG BANGERS! Okay so please tell me why this past month or so I've suddenly touched base with a few familiar faces from half a decade ago. Interestingly enough, later today I'm going to hang out with one of them. It's been FIVE YEARS since I've seen this negro and it's funny but he tells me "I haven't changed one bit." Excuse me sir, but I beg to differ! Haha. Well my point is merely that it is unfortunate that some people choose that road because it truly does not have much to offer in the long run; however, as Mike and Randall sort of pointed out to me ... "it's what you make of it." INDEEED, INDEEED! But seriously ... nothing puts a smile on my face like reuniting with an old friend and knowing that they turned their life around for the better. Even if it takes doing some time to set them straight.
Let's see ... what else? OH! Hahahahaha. Because I have a number of followers here, I will try and keep it G-rated. OR NOT. Haha. But on the real man, it's time for that season! "I do it for a reason, not just for the season!" I love being friends with witty bitches, they truly are the best. Without going into too much detail about that aspect of my life, let me just say that SOMETIMES I get too caught up into the moment and completely neglect long term consequences. I guess it's one of the side effects of having a "you only live once so, FUCK IT!" rational. Haha. Nonetheless, I still firmly believe in living with no regrets. It is instilled in my values to only look back, smirk, and say "maaaah baaaaad!" and leave it at that.
Leer time! <3
Spring quarter has begun. It's amazing how things work out for me sometimes. I truly wonder why I'm lucky enough to just have things fall on my lap without any effort. Maybe I am putting in effort but in attempts of being modest I decide not give myself credit for it. Anyways, I ended up having ALL my classes with at least one familiar face without even planning it to be that way. Truth be told though, I really prefer taking classes by myself and not planned with others because THAT'S HOW YOU MEET NEW PEOPLE. My oh my ... how I sure love meeting new faces.
So I am truly contemplating on whether or not I can handle a double major. OH SNAAAP .. one of my topics that I wanted to rant about just came back to me ... GANG BANGERS! Okay so please tell me why this past month or so I've suddenly touched base with a few familiar faces from half a decade ago. Interestingly enough, later today I'm going to hang out with one of them. It's been FIVE YEARS since I've seen this negro and it's funny but he tells me "I haven't changed one bit." Excuse me sir, but I beg to differ! Haha. Well my point is merely that it is unfortunate that some people choose that road because it truly does not have much to offer in the long run; however, as Mike and Randall sort of pointed out to me ... "it's what you make of it." INDEEED, INDEEED! But seriously ... nothing puts a smile on my face like reuniting with an old friend and knowing that they turned their life around for the better. Even if it takes doing some time to set them straight.
Let's see ... what else? OH! Hahahahaha. Because I have a number of followers here, I will try and keep it G-rated. OR NOT. Haha. But on the real man, it's time for that season! "I do it for a reason, not just for the season!" I love being friends with witty bitches, they truly are the best. Without going into too much detail about that aspect of my life, let me just say that SOMETIMES I get too caught up into the moment and completely neglect long term consequences. I guess it's one of the side effects of having a "you only live once so, FUCK IT!" rational. Haha. Nonetheless, I still firmly believe in living with no regrets. It is instilled in my values to only look back, smirk, and say "maaaah baaaaad!" and leave it at that.
Leer time! <3
Monday, March 23, 2009
New Church.
It's official. I cannot bare bump into another person at church who I don't need to see. It ruins my entire trip to God's House. As far as I'm concerned, I am going to start to attend church Downtown. Or better yet, maybe I should take Sheva's advice and go to church at one of those Black churches (as portrayed on TV) ... yeah! That should do the trick. Hahaha.
Today Felisa came home.
I missed her a ton!
Tomorrow, Sheva's coming.
I miss her a ton.
(So gay for her, hahaha!)
Last night, or earlier this evening, I hung out with Luis.
Truly, he will ALWAYS be mi favorito <3
I need some shut eye.
Today Felisa came home.
I missed her a ton!
Tomorrow, Sheva's coming.
I miss her a ton.
(So gay for her, hahaha!)
Last night, or earlier this evening, I hung out with Luis.
Truly, he will ALWAYS be mi favorito <3
I need some shut eye.
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